Saturday, January 12, 2008


Based on my last ultrasound, I'm about 33 weeks pregnant now. In two days, my husband and I will celebrate our fourth month as a married couple.

So far it's been a mixture of bliss, exhaustion, and a whole lot of adjustment.

The pregnancy definitely took us by surprise but I've always reiterated that our baby was such a welcomed blessing for me and my husband.

It's true that we'd been planning to get married with a very grand wedding scheduled for this year but the arrival of our baby boy gave us something better to look forward to.

Financially, we weren't prepared when we first found out but through sheer luck and our attempts at money management, we were able to pull through. Budgeting can still be an ass especially when the amount of bills that you have to pay is larger than the money that you have in the bank, but so far we've been doing okay. I'd like to say that our sudden financial ease has been the result of a well-timed windfall but we're far from being opulent but still it won't beat saving up and being prepared for the rainy days.

2007 had been an exhausting year for me. Physically, I've never settled down since moving out from the condo I'm renting early last year. I've moved back to my folk's house but I couldn't handle the daily 2 hour commute so I opted to stay in a dorm. After my pregnancy was confirmed, my husband opted to have me move into their house so that he can take care of me and we do our weekly sojourn back to Valenzuela during our rest days to spend time with my family. But we are targeting to move into a place of our own before this year ends. I hate feeling like a nomad.

Anyways, barely 2 months of dorming, I found out I was pregnant and I spent roughly a month of my first trimester eating dry crackers at my bunk to ward off nausea. I would admit to a dose of self-pity during this period because all I wanted to do then was to crawl into my mom's bed and cry.

My husband (then boyfriend) and I were living from paycheck-to-paycheck and paying off debts accumulated from 'bad' investments. We even had to borrow money from his sister to pay for my first ultrasound and check up.

Telling our respective families also added to the stress. Well, my family knows of our relationship at that point so it wasn't as surprising on my side. I had to admit that it was hardest telling my eldest brother. I'm scared of him. Because my dad was working abroad, my eldest kuya was the one who disciplined me while I was growing up so I cried buckets before mustering the nerve to tell him through a family huddle. My second brother and his wife were the first people that I've told of my pregnancy and they made sure that I was doing what needs to be done to have a healthy pregnancy. My third and fourth brothers were all cool about it, for some reason. And nobody had any violent reactions. I got a lot of hugs from them and lots of wishes for my baby to be a girl.

My mom...well, she just didn't talk to us for about half a day after we told her. That, I perfectly understand. When she was able to sit down and talk to us, she had already composed herself and asked what our plans were. I think it took her at least a month to be able to come to terms with it. I knew that it was already okay when she started buying me maternity blouses without being asked and when she started helping us prepare for our civil wedding. Actually, she did all the work....all my husband and I had to do was be there. I've never felt more love and gratitude for my mom as I do now. =). I had to tell her that I'm sorry that I was a difficult daughter during my teenage years. (hehe).

I had been unfair to my dad. He had never met my husband because when he left almost two years ago, that was the time I started dating my boyfriend. He only knew my husband from pictures that I would send to him via email and the stories that my mom would tell him over the phone. It was a dilemma about the proper time to tell him because I certainly didn't want to do it over the phone. I thought that my dad would be able to come home for a vacation on the month that we got married but it wasn't to be. My brothers, and my mom and his mom were all after us to get married as soon as possible that waiting for my dad to come home wasn't an option. I was scared because he was all alone on the other side, and I wanted the whole family to be there for him just in case he won't take it too well.

Eventually, my mom had to tell him and by that time, I was already married. As soon as I got the go-ahead signal from my mom, I sent him an email apologizing and thanking him for everything.

I am posting his reply, verbatim:

"My Dear Princess:
Although my heart still pains, I cannot ignore the fact that your Mom and I will suddenly
have another son who will take over from us in taking care of you, our princess. Therefore,
late as it may, I give both of you my blessings for a blissful and successful married life.
I just hope that you both gave it a serious thought before making the decision. As for me,
I don't have an idea now as to when I can come home due to the crisis we are having now in
the project, due to the absence of a project manager which is exacting a heavy strain on me
physically and mentally. So, take care of yourself always, and of your husband. I will see you when I'll be able to see both of you (which I hope to be sooner than I expect.)
Again, congratulations to both of you. God Bless You.
Love you too, my princess,

So all was well for my side of the family.

It was a different story for his family.

His mom knows that he has a gf, she just hasn't met me yet. And for him to tell his mom that I am pregnant and that we're getting married must've been a shock of a lifetime for her.

Nevertheless, she was composed and gracious when I first met her. And how scared I was, after she perused me from head to toe. If there had been any objections on her part, I perfectly understand. She's never met me before, and I would be taking away her only and favorite son away...I had already anticipated that tug-of-war may be in the offing but it wasn't that way.

My mother-in-law had accepted me as a daughter, and I am grateful for that.


I've also accepted that, in general, there will always be an unbridgeable gap between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law.

My MIL is a nice enough MIL...she cooks for me if I'm too tired to get up and prepare my food. She gives me small trinkets that she thinks I'd like...I could talk to her no problem about stuff and no, she's not a real dragon like some MILs could be.

Admittedly, a liberal daughter-in-law and a conservative mother-in-law would not always see eye to eye with each other, especially when it comes to child rearing so my husband and I are both planning to move into a space of our own after having our son baptized. But, I'll be spending the entirety of my maternity leave and until we move in to our own place with my mom so it's my husband's turn to deal with in-laws. Hehe.

I haven't had the chance to bond with my sister-in-law yet...she's living a rather mysterious life and their family still seems to have their own pending issues that are yet to be resolved. But I think we have a lot in common and this is based from her movie collections...she likes the classics like I do. And from what I've been hearing from my husband, she's terribly obsessive compulsive as well. Then again, these things take time. Hopefully, we get that chance to bond soon.

The biggest change I've seen for 2007 was none other than my husband.

It always warms my heart to see how much he had changed for the better and how supportive he had been throughout everything that had happen to us the past year. When I became pregnant, he'd always picked me up and I can actually count the number of times that he wasn't at our office lobby to pick me up. He now takes his work seriously and he is so good at what he does. =).

I can definitely see that right now, our family is his top priority. =).

I can see that impending fatherhood and being a husband is when he is at his best. He is always saying how lucky he is to have married me (ehem...) and I'd definitely say, 'right back at yah.'

As for me, I'm totally gearing up for what lies ahead. I am a wife, a mommy, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. It would be hard to balance all that, but yeah, bring it on, I say.

I'm ready. =).

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