Monday, April 30, 2007



(Alice Peacock/John Mayer)

Your touch is electric
I felt it the first time you held me
The way we connected
So easily
I've tried to define it
Searched for the perfect phrase
I've tried to describe it
In a million different ways

It's joy, it's ecstasy, it's truth, it's destiny
And even love is not enough
To tell you how you make me feel
Theres only one word for this

I've got to admit it
You took my heart by surprise
Don't know how you did it
But baby, I've never felt so alive

I already know what the future holds
As long as you are here with me

It's joy, it's ecstasy, it's truth, it's destiny
To tell you how you make me feel
It's faith, it's honesty, it's life, it's everything
To say I love you is not enough
To tell you how you make me feel

It's in your smile, it's in you kiss
It's the reason I exist
There's only one word for this

It's bliss

Sunday, April 29, 2007



Something there is that doesn't love a wall...

And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.

"Mending Wall"- Robert Frost

It's actually strange to feel this way after all these years. Sometimes I think that it is actually you that does not want to let go. Catching a glimpse of you wasn't such a disaster as I've expected.

If this is the way that it should and would be then I will never regret our end.

Happiness is what we both deserved and I hope we get it.

I've no more ill feelings against you.

I can definitely say 'over' without flinching.

It feels like an oyster picked clean of its cargo.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Anak ng...

Anak ng...hindi pa ako nasasanay sa trabaho ko, binigyan na naman ako ng bago (sorry...mas sanay talaga ako sa inbound kesa outbound). Sobrang stressful talaga sa office ngayon. Walang natutuwa. Pare-pareho lang tayo nabigla. Ayaw niyo samin. Ayaw din namin sa inyo. The feeling is mutual. Pero wala tayong magagawa. Nandiyan na eh. Resign or stay. Bahala ka.

Papahirapan pa ba tayo o magtutulungan na lang tayo?

Dadaanin mo ba lahat sa parinig o baka pwedeng pagusapan ng harap-harapan dahil alam ko, the last time I checked, hindi na tayo high school para daanin ang mga issue sa parinigan. Kami rin naman naapektuhan. Kung pinoprotektahan niyo sarili niyo at ang mga ahente niyo, ganun lang din kame.

Parang naintindihan ko na kung bakit marami kang hindi nakakasundo ineng. Ang hilig mo kasing magparinig. Dami tuloy nakakamisinterpret. Opinyon ko lang naman.

As always...bato bato sa langit...yes, you can fill in the rest.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Red Alert

I've just completed a double shift, meaning I've been in this office for 16+ hours...I've seen a revolution of sunset and sunrise and I still haven't logged out yet (waiting for a certain officemate to log out to do some bank stuff). In that 16+ hours, roughly 80% of it was spent chained on my station, listening to calls after calls until I've reached the target number of monitored calls that I should have in a week and I'm nowhere halfway yet. The rest of the time was spent for eating, and team meeting, and roughly and hour and a half of sleep. I've drank a can of instant latte, which was sickeningly sweet, If I may say so.

So yes, I'm still in a very stressful state which is manifesting itself by the snowy-like flakes of dandruff that showers over my shoulder every time I scratch myself in frustration. I need a break. I think I badly needed to. My officemates have already been on an outing or two and came back from it with skin baked under the hot sun. Oh yes, I also have the same darker complexion but only because I've been battling the daily commute from my house to the office and vice versa.

There have been major changes in this office.

There are backlogged works that keep on piling, because I have yet to master the skill of being a QAS and an Asst T.L. at the same time.

I've been true to my word, the Wedding Plans have taken a backseat to all of this.

Boa and I are planning to expand our family by buying me a Great Dane puppy and I've been thinking on how will we raise such a huge dog in our house without my mom killing me.

I've been waiting for the status on my loan (If I'm not mistaken, it's supposed to be any day now), which we are really hoping to get to ease our financial burdens. I don't even want to think what'll happen if that loan wasn't approved...with Boa planning to switch jobs again. I don't think that my measly increase would cover our amortization, debts, and raising a new puppy. Buying the stuff for our home, and paying for our wedding is another matter.

Lately, I've been harboring this insecurity whenever a friend of Boa tells me something about his past. The time we've spent apart since moving out of Citiland hasn't help in curbing my insecurity. It IS hard. It was something I thought I could handle but will all these things happening around me, I'm due to break down any moment now. But Boa had been all cool and patient about it. He reassures me well, and I can say, he's my Rock of Gibraltar right now.

I admit, I've been having dreams about being with other people which magazines are saying something normal for individuals who have taken a major step in their relationships.

The upshot is that I'm losing weight without even trying. People have commented on how thin I am being but I'm getting sickly as well.

I've been rushed to the ER, twice in a week. I'm still hacking violently with every cough and my chest hurts each time. I have inflamed ribs for not getting enough exercise, because I haven't the time.

I miss my friends so badly, even if some of them are already my officemates. I hate myself for being incoherent...just lurking by and reading their mails about their lives which I can't even comment on...

I know this is nothing compared to what others are going through right now, say the starvation issues in Somalia, but this is all that I can say in a short span of time, so please let me.

Thank you for the time you spent reading this...

Friday, April 13, 2007



I need to slow down.

I've been running around everywhere this week. Juggling my new responsibilities at work, doing day to day errands, the tax season, while trying to maintain everything else had taken its toll on me. I've had the flu for about 6 days now, and I've been complaining of chest pains even if I'm doing simple activities like walking or sitting or laughing and especially when I'm stooping down. I've been to an emergency room but they haven't resolved this issue so I'll be getting a second opinion soon.

I've put the Wedding Plans on hold until I've accomplished the major tasks that needs to be taken care of first.

And to top it all, I've received some pretty horrifying work-related news two days ago. It affected me so much that I literally punched this woman that pushed me on the lrt. I was that affected.'s just a matter of hours now...the matter is out of our hands. We can only hope and pray but we are expecting chaos. Total chaos. As my bossing Rowald said, we were just innocent dinosaurs grazing on earth when this big meteor blasted us into oblivion. There, that about sums it. I'm sure its classified information so you'll know everything in a day or two.

Boa's birthday is coming up in three days but we will celebrate it on the 15th. I've been up my toes planning to make sure that my future husband (wow...again...such huge words) will have the best day of his life...for this year, anyway. He's turning 27!

I can't find the way to console my friends. Everyone is going through something right now. I feel so detached. Or more accurately, I am so bubbling with excitement that I can only look at everything with rose-colored glasses.

I need to be brought back to earth.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Bells Are A Ringing

Project: Roa-Tamayo Nuptials

Just to be clear, for the next 17 months there is a great possibility that the only topic written on this blog would be about our upcoming wedding. Since that seems to be the most exciting thing that is happening to me (and by far, the biggest since getting my degree three years ago), you will get sick of it. I guarantee. But if you're one of my friends, and you're truly happy for me, then you can always check this blog for updates.

For starters, we have decided to have it on October 2008.

It would be a church wedding (it's a toss between the UST church and Sta Rita Parish at Philam Homes).

We've already picked our entourage.

Our motiff will definitely include the color blue.

I have already chosen the design of my trousseau. (Haha...that was such a big and complicated word that I'd never thought I'd associate with myself, much more, wear.).

We are on the lookout for a wonderful venue for the reception.

As much as possible, I would not want any hassle. That's why we are planning as early as now. Like everything, careful planning is needed. I understand when they say that things like these only comes once in a lifetime.

Well so far, that was what we accomplished.

Will be back soon for updates.

Despite the excitement, sometimes I still get torn between the ambivalence of losing something and the adjustment that I will go through against what I will be gaining. But that's the deal right? We win some, we lose some. And in this case, I am sure of, what I will gain is greater than I will lose.