Sunday, September 25, 2005
Monday, September 19, 2005
It was my cousin’s wedding earlier. I just can’t believe she’s married. Tied to the old ball-and-chain. Damned to drag it behind her back ‘til death do her and her husband part. I should probably get used to the idea of it. She’s married. She is a recent Pol Sci grad, cum laude nonetheless, yet to turn 21, 8 months pregnant, and married. It’s just so surreal. Seeing her walk down the aisle, wearing a puffy, pink gown. And she looked so radiant, so pristine. Our eyes met for just the briefest of seconds as she was walking, and I hope she got what I am mentally telling her. That no matter what everyone says, I am behind her and I am not judging her. She nodded imperceptibly, as if to acknowledge that thought.
When I first saw her, after learning she was pregnant (her brother, who lives with us informed me that she is afraid to see me) I noticed how older she looked. Suddenly, she seems so weighted down with all of these things that I was afraid that her fragility would succumb to it but she didn’t. She continued to work, even though she’s very much well on her way. She held up her head high and graciously even if people were whispering, so very obviously, behind her back. She has fallen from grace, but she has risen above.
That was her destiny. Her path. Maybe it was not the path that she chose but she has something to look forward to; something to live for. I just wish her all the luck for that.
And no, Ailil, deep down in my gut I know I am not envious. Now I know for sure that this would not be the life that I would live (yeah, I’m a live-in girl).
I had to scoff once or twice (okay so much more than that) during the officiating minister’s misogynistic exhortations that were derived from the very patriarchal book called The Bible. He was droning about the wife being the doormat, or something so much more pleasant than that. When he got to the part where a woman should respect and follow what her husband says, I was ready to stab him in the eye with a toothpick. But my mother held me off.
Oh and during the reception (I hated the food though it was eat-all-you-can. I really don’t like native cuisines, for some reason) aunts and uncles and other people were asking me when would I get married. Fought the urge to stick my finger down my throat. One uncle even kept commenting that he thought I was Katya Santos because I was so fat. Oh, yeah, he was being so funny that I just gave him a withering look (and tried very hard to contain the scathing comeback that was threatening to pour out of my tongue) and continued to assemble my halo-halo. What a pain in the ass.
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My deadlines are all piling up. I’m so way behind. Will finish up everything next week. What happened in the Muziklaban stunted me that for a while, I didn’t want to write anything that is music-related. But, yeah, I’ll finish them all next week.
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Splurged 300 bucks on VCD’s last Thursday while I’m at SM North with Jay. Bought three cheesy romantic comedies: The Wedding Singer, One Fine Day, and Bedazzled. Okay, Bedazzled is not a romantic comedy, but Elizabeth Hurley is a one hot she-devil and Brendan Fraser is just so damn funny (the sensitive guy and his dolphin song definitely tops my list).
Pfeiffer/Clooney, Sandler/Barrymore have such a very good chemistry on screen. During the airplane scene of the Wedding Singer I was ready to bawl my eyes out so I had my Kleenex in handy. The kitchen-kissing scene of Michelle And the very-yummy George Clooney is so romantic; it left me in warm tingles that gave way to deep depression when the euphoria passed. Haay. Single life.
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To Jhamie, get well soon. Toodles! See you on Saturday.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Nahihirapan na ang aking isip
Nalilito ako, nais kong sagipin ang ating
Nguni’t handa akong palayain ka
Kay rami nang nagdaan
Kung ito ang yong hiling
Nanlalamig na bang pag-ibig mo?
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Giddy with excitement because I just bought “The Bell JaR” and the “Diary of Anais Nin” for only 450php. Now THAT is a frigging steal considering that both books are in good condition. Thanks to Jay of eBay for these amazing finds!
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Half of Freefall had an impromptu reunion last Friday.
I was on my way to SM North to meet Jay, when Monyat texted me and asked me to join her and Joi at Bo's Coffee Club. I did and soon Ryan followed, then Jhamie. Too bad Karen wasn't able to make it, which is understandable since it WAS a short notice.
I was expecting an afternoon of lounging over cups of coffee and milkshakes but it became a videoke session at Encore (horrible, horrible place!), and a very loong dinner at Mr. Kebab's where the topic of discourses ranged from illicit affairs, loyalty and friendship, rhetorics, chocolate factories (both old and new), and sexual jeepney and bicycle rides which moved on to watching the Thai film, "Ong Bak" over at Monyat's. We concluded the night by posing luridly for Jhamie's cool, cool cam. If it would be included in our upcoming literary folio, that has YET to be discussed.
Such a fun night, indeed.
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Covered the Muziklaban Meet and Greet the Finalist last Wednesday (September 7) and the finals too just this Saturday. Both events were tiring yet fulfilling once Jhamie and I got sight of THE Bass God, Louie Talan. Thanks to brutalgrace of Pulp Magazine for so many info that she gave about Louie.
P.S. For those of you who do not know who Louie Talan is, he is the bassist for bands such as Razorback, Kapatid, Mishka Adams, Cynthia Alexander, Pinikpikan, iSpy, and Blues Echoes among others. He also produces most of the locals bands' albums with his company, Station 1 and many albums are recorded at Wombworks Studio, which he also owns. He also attends his kid’s PTA meetings. What a guy!
Sad note, though, I learned hours after the event that three people died during the event due to a stampede at the entrance, and unfortunately, one of my dear good friend Ryan’s students was one of the casualty. Can’t believe it. Poor, poor kids. Maybe that’s the operative word in here: kids.
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No events scheduled for this week yet, but I might attend the OPM Crossroads 2 on September 16,17,18. And as early as now, Jay (of http://www.titikpilipino.com/) and Jhamie (we so need a week off from each other…nagdududa na ang nanay ko sa relasyon natin, honestly) are both ribbing me about the presence of Cueshe in the line up. What can I say, sometimes, someone in this universe is working overtime to answer my whims.
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Thursday, September 08, 2005
I should be writing my paper right now but my brother just installed a new video card in our pc and now I'm hooked on playing Sims 2 (Ho, the graphics are so amazing!)
So, no paper until I've finish playing. Besides, much as I enjoyed reading some post colonial theories I need to unwind after frisking my brain with appropriation, abrogation, and Homi Babha's theory of Hybridity. I deserved this break.
As for the title, I swear to god, I am SO not in the mood to interact with any gay men (read: opportunist faggots) right now. If I ever see that lolo (crazy) faggot, he gonna get it (he's gonna die)!
I hope i'm doing my code switchings right.
One more week, then I'll produce a paper that will blow even Ferda's socks off! Hah! Big Eye (ambitious)!