Torrents

It's raining really hard. They said.

I haven't peeked out the window yet.

Somebody said that there is a big storm coming up.

I heard somebody said that a certain bank had already declared suspension for the day.

Oh, let it rain.

I'm really looking forward into curling up in my bed with the comforter wrapped around me.

It's been awhile since I traced raindrops on my window pane.

I am welcoming this solitude. After all this time, a little time alone wouldn't be so bad.

But I'm still looking forward to Lea's bash on Saturday. I hope it had stopped raining by then.

But for now, yeah, let it rain.

- - -

Somebody said in his blog that God is an Atenean because they won Game 1 last Sunday.

UST's loss was really heartbreaking but the series is not yet over. =p. So we'll see, right?

This Is My World (Darius Rucker) from the Shallow Hal OST

The look on your face
It could never explain your heart
And the touch of my lips
They could never tell you my thoughts
And you want me to change
(I can't get used to)
But I can't get used to
All you want me to be
I just can't pretend
(to be anyone else)
To be anyone else
Cause its not really me

This is my world.. this is who I am
And I'm not gonna give up myself
To make your life better
She said 'this is how it is
I got my own life to live
And you can either accept me
Or baby let me go'

And this love that we share
And we can withstand all the obstacles
That life brings forth
And I will receive you for who you are
Who you were
And baby who you will be
But you want me to change
(I can't get used to)
Still I can't get used to
All you want me to be
And I just can't pretend
(to be anyone else)
To be anyone else, oh
Cause its not really me....

This is my world.. this is who I am
And I'm not gonna give up myself
To make your life better
She said 'this is how it is
I got my own life to live
And you can either accept me
Or baby this is my world

And I'm not tryin to give up myself
to make your life better
She said, 'this is how (it is)
I got my own life to live
and you can either accept me
or baby let me go'

You said I promise you the stars
and I'm giving you all I can
Now you say love is not enough
and I know (and I know)
You will see (you will see)
If your life turns around
in my heart
There is room for you,
With me and my world...

This is who I am
and I'm not tryin to give up myself
to make your life better
she said, 'this is how (it is)
i got my life (life to live)
and you can either accept me' or
baby this is my world
(this is) who i am
and im not tryin to give up myself
to make your life better
(she said) this is how it is
and i got my life
and you can either accept me or baby let me go...

And this is my world...
this is my world
My world
Baby let me go
Ooh, this is who I am
Where I am
I got my own life to live
ooh
This is my world
I'm not tryin to change you
This is who I am

Erratum

Yeah, the 2006 Muziklaban winner was HardBoiledEggz. I just didn't acknowledged/changed it due to sheer laziness but don't worry I got it right on my article. That's on the Rocknation October Issue. =p.

Sorry about that.

Addict

And what do I do. I sit beside you and turn the pages.
Diminuendo then sudden fortissimo—
I know where I am in the world by loudness alone.

-Robert Kelley, "Mapping"

My life feels more chaotic than usual. I am ineffectually trying to please everybody and I'm failing miserably. Or maybe, it's actually because I'm focusing more on pleasing the people around me that I forgot that the "I" exists.

Fools think they can have it all. I did.

I love my friends, I love my guy, I love my family and somewhere in between these three, my love for my work/s exist as well.

But to find time for all of these without sacrificing something or someone is an awfully hard enterprise.

I will do something for myself, by myself...soon.

Before I self-destruct again.

And yes, consuming alcohol will not make it easier.

But its hard to stay away from it.

Somebody call AA.

POSTSCRIPT:

Here's my horoscope for the day as per Yahoo! Astrology:

"Don't get so caught up in giving that you cut yourself off from your own feelings. The problem is that self-sacrifice can be gratifying in so many ways -- so much so that you risk making it an unhealthy habit."

Filth

For those people who stayed home last Saturday, I envy you. We should've stayed home and watched cartoons instead.

Where were we last Saturday night?

Somewhere in PICC, sloshing through the rains and getting our shoes soaked in mud.

Yeah, soaked in mud. My gray, Converse sneakers that I've never washed in its entire existence is now caked with dried mud.

And why were we there in the first place? Muziklaban 2006, that's why.

One of the worst events I've attended this year.

The organizers should have prepared the venue for weather mishaps such as what happened last Saturday.

We left early. We couldn't stand it.

But atleast we managed to smuggle a couple of cans of good ole' Red Horse and the chicken barbeque was the SHIT!

And I have absolutely no idea what went on there. I just know that GOTT was declared the winner. Wasn't able to see them perform.

Stupid whiny writer.

And here I go again, contradicting myself.

It's a job, right? I should just go ahead and do it, weather be damned. But I can't. I wasn't prepared for the weather. Plus I was already feverish even before we left the house.

Another reason for my rant, no Louie Talan sighting. *sigh*

Well Boa and I made up for it by eating out at Mister Kebab yesterday afternoon for lunch. Special Chicken Chelo Kebab always hits the spot! And Potato Cutlet..Yum! (salivating right now.)

Then we bought lots and lots of dvd's at MCS (got myself a copy of The Nightmare Before Christmas and Like Water For Chocolate) and basically just vegged out all day. =p.

And yes, UST won again, for the 5th time at the UAAP Cheerdance Competish.

Galing! Go USTe!

Its Monday. I have a seven day shift coming up. And Boa will be away for the weekend. Boohoo.

But atleast I get to go home Sunday and Monday. =p.

One thing to look forward to.

Scattered Thoughts

I've been working at ASTII for half a year now. The longest I've had in a company.

The company is in the process of being stabilized right now and it is nowhere near stability.

Chaos is more like it.

Some people are hungry for promotion and innocent people (like moi!) are being dragged in the middle of it.

I decided to give myself atleast a year in this company. Then I'll take it from there.

- - -

Muziklaban's coming up. Wala lang.

- - -

I like it when he inhales the top of my head after hugging me tight.

I'm Only Happy When It Rains (garbage)

I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
And why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me

I'm only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad sad songs
I'm only happy when it rains

I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didn't accidentally tell you that
I'm only happy when it rains
You'll get the message by the time I'm through
When I complain about me and you
I'm only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down,
(pour your misery down on me)
Pour your misery down,
(pour your misery down on me)
Pour your misery down,
(pour your misery down on me)
Pour your misery down,
(pour your misery down on me)
Pour your misery down
You can keep me company as long as you don't care

I'm only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains

(Pour some misery down on me)
I'm only happy when it rains
(Pour some misery down on me)
I'm only happy when it rains
(Pour some misery down on me)
I'm only happy when it rains
(Pour some misery down on me)
I'm only happy when it rains

(Pour some misery down on me)
(Pour some misery down on me)
(Pour some misery down on me)
(Pour some misery down on me)

I'm only happy when it rains
(Pour some misery down on me)
I'm only happy when it rains
(Pour some misery down on me)
I'm only happy when it rains
(Pour some misery down on me)

- - -

This is too much. I depend on you on one thing: just to be with me when most people around me are against me right now and you've turn against me as well.

And for what? One dumb, measly joke? Sheesh.

Everything's going so well.

And then I got my wish again.

And just about now I am mentally kicking myself for being myself.

Hey, gran ma.

I'm coming home.

The One Where Joe Moved Out

Wala lang. Ang sad. Joedude roomed with me for the last 5 months and it was a blast. It was nice pouring out my girl shit troubles and hearing a sane guy's point of view. What I'll miss most about having Joe as my roommate:

• our impromptu singing-at-the-top-of-our-lungs sessions. (usually done if we want to fall asleep)
• pigging out on something that I cooked rather horribly
• watching lotsa DVD, especially Friends.
• listening and singing "OO" by UpDharmaDown, and most of all,
• just plain hanging out and talking. And having someone to cry on when I'm out-psychoing myself.

Yep, Joe is just one cool dude. I actually cried when he left. I'm gonna miss the big slug.

And to answer everybody's question: Nope, Boa's not moving in.

I'm happy the way things are.

So this is how Monica felt when Rachel left the aprtment.

I Love Nuno Bettencourt!

I know I just had my hair cut but after watching Guitar Wars over at Monyat's last Saturday, I am absolutely dying to copy his hair. Watcha think? (for those who don't know him, he used to play guitars for Extreme. Yeah, that band that sang 'More Than Words').

Why oh why I didn't go with my brother last year when he went to the "Meet and Greet Nuno Bettencourt" last year?! >.<

- - -

MORE THAN WORDS


Saying I love you is
Not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say but if you only knew
How easy
It would be to show me how you feel



More than words is all you have to do
To make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me 'cause
I'd already know


{Refrain}
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you



Now that I've tried to
Talk to you and make you understand
All that you have to do is
Close your eyes and just reach out your hands
And touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go

More than words
Is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me
'Cause I'd already know