Friday, July 22, 2005


I was riding the trike on the way home, the weariness had settled on my limbs and I just couldn't wait to get home and get some sleep. I chanced upon the cracked mirror and forced myself to look at the face reflected on it. Same haggard face, heavy bag under the eyes, cracked mouth...can't help but remember what Nat said..."masochists. can't help but come back for more. we are sick. we are." i can feel how the words reverberate inside the emptiness.

Professor once commented, with biting scorn, that time is just a state of mind. I may just have to agree. Or maybe it is just that time is moving forward so swiftly and somehow I'm still suspended in this state of timelessness where time stopped since I graduated a year ago.

I've been trying to run around and do something worthwhile since gaining my freedom, a truly paradoxical concept for me. I've decided to follow the Buddhist way since being an agnostic last year.

Need peace.

- - -

I've finally watched Tori Amos' A Sorta Fairy Tale video (and I want to thank Karen, by the way, for giving me a copy of Scarlet's Walk, and the video collection of Tori Amos. NOw i just have to get these of my wishlist, don't I?)

It was weirdly moving. Watching these two appendages trying to survive in a world of humans with complete body parts. Seeing them stumble because of their utter incompleteness. But it was a happy ending for them as they somehow managed to complete themelves. I've yet to find that. Til then it IS still a Sorta Fairy Tale for me.

To watch the vid click here

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