Sunday, February 20, 2005

Family

Family I wonder how did jhamie and lea's thesis defence went. I've only read some of the details from jaymee's entry at her LJ account but I did not even text lea and jhamie and jaymee to wish them good luck, i'm such a bad friend indeed. Indeed. But I have good faith in them that they would do good and I know that i am right. It's just that I had some other stuff that I was thinking about, going home yesterday.
I really don't know why i still work for a company whose policies and management i don't even respect and believe in. I know, i know, I did nothing but whine ever since i started this job because i never wanted this job in the first place, I just had to work because i didn't want to go slumming and i just wanted to feel how it was to be financially independent from my folks, how it would feel to buy my whims from my own sweat, and now there would be no turning back. how else would I know that i would good at this job that i never enjoy. When i have to drag myself to go to work every morning, afternoon, night or whatever shift am i in. I know i would never grow to like it, not in time, not ever. not when i feel like the headset that i wear is a chain that drags me into a monotony that i am afraid i would neve break anymore. i puke when i see americans. i almost died while working. i don't even know how are my friends are anymore. i don't know where they are right now, what they do. maybe they have forgotten me, the way they must be thinking that i have forgotten them. the only reason why i was motivated to work everday was because of my team and now the management decided to take our coach and split our teams to be thrown away in some other unknown team. this is what we get for being the top team. this is what i get for being the top agent. to be fair, the team that i was transferred to is okay, as i've known the people there and my new coach when i started working so i already formed some sort of bond with them. but i worry about the other half. who would remind me-an where she leaves her car keys, wallet, and celphone? mimay would never give me the biggest of hugs before the start of every shift again ...mimay, our baby. would they comfort mimay, the way i do when she cries? would they give lieah the same help that we had given her when she had a financial difficulties? i kept thinking of the stuff that we had gone through for almost half a year now.
but then. we are family. and we would always be. this i'm sure of. we are stronger than this. we would make it. this is not the last that they would hear from team Alcatraz. in fact, i could even smell the freshly baked donuts from Gonuts Donuts, the distinct smell of the interiors of me'an 's van, the spicy chicken flavored Yakisoba that we eat during breaks, i could hear Mimay's British accent, Me-an and Coach Mel's cacophony of laughter, Ate Fe's stories of her kids and her liaisons with kuya ver (wink!), cherie's dance steps, ang pag-ibig ni lieah kay aly na laging napupurnada, tin's unrequited love for the RODENt, jah-jah's kababawan, vanessa's loss of signal (hehe!!!), arnold's royal assholeness, judy's love problem. all of this will be missed but not forgotten. and to all people whom we had given codenames: dead skin 1 and 2, mongol, mahal and weng-weng, mr. montana, asphalt, rape, inufiber, inday, popeye, goliath, buteteng laot, 'im, churva and others...you've made our team stronger.
you were the only ones who tolerated my kalantutayan with Ultraman. never forget that.
i love you guys.