Bwisit

For some reason, I am pissing off a LOT of people these days. (And I'm talking about a whole bunch of people here)

Perhaps I should hibernate.

For a long...long...while.

Apologia

Dying

Is an art, like everything else.

I do it exceptionally well....

Out of the ash

I rise with my red hair

And I eat men like air.

-Sylvia Plath, "Lady Lazarus"

I am using this space in my sanctuary to deeply and sincerely apologize to a very dear friend. I will never regret what I've done but I fully regret pissing you off in the process.

YOU can hate me for the rest of our lives, YOU can bitch-slap me if you feel like it, YOU can throw a B.F., I would fully understand.

BUT please..PLEASE...I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me someday.

Didn't we always say that nothing would ever come between us?

Weekend Brouhaha

Just in case someone will care , here's my schedule for the weekend:

Saturday morning: Yoga classes

The rest of the weekend: I'll be at Valenzuela, as ordered by my folks..(weird, I wonder what's going on).

Monday: Will cover the Top Suzara album launch, Mugen, 7pm.

There.

I shall rest for awhile. Including this old, tired heart of mine.

PARA SA MGA TANGANG LALAKE AT MAGAGANDANG BABAE TULAD NATIN

***forwarded email by Ardee, at somewhat nahimasmasan ako***

Before, hinahabol kita pero di mo ako pinapansin. Tapos isang araw nawala ako, hinanap mo ako at tinanong, "Bakit ka nagsawa?" Ngumiti ako, "Hindi ako nagsawa. Natauhan lang." Pwede mo kong lokohin pero wag kang magpapahuli sakin. Pwede mo kong palitan pero siguraduhin mong mas mahal mo siya sakin. Pwede mo kong iwan pero siguraduhin mong kaya mo. Kasi pag ako sobrang nasaktan, wala ka nang babalikan.


Ang Boys? Pag trip ka, magpapakilala. Kaibigan kuno hanggang pumorma na. Tapos pag nahulog ka na, ayun, goodbye na dahil sawa na sila. Pero dapat walang iiyak at smile lang tayo. Punyeta, anong silbi ng karma?


I fell in love and got hurt but I didn't shed too much tears nor did I ask him to love me again. Instead, I stood up proudly and said, "Ganyan talaga ang magaganda! Hindi bagay sa tanga!" Simple lang para hindi ka masaktan. Kapag minahal ka, mahalin mo din. Kapag ginago ka, gaguhin mo rin. Pero kapag umiyak ka, tanga ka! Ginago ka na nga, iiyakan mo pa? Pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo, wag mo siyang sisihin! Kausapin mo siya ng harap-harapan at sabihin mong, "Ingat, tanga ka pa naman!" Masakit pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo. Pero wag kang magagalit ng husto. Kahit papano may pinagsamahan naman kayo, diba? Kaya for the last time yakapin mo siya at ibulong mo, "Gago, kukulamin kita!" Girls, talo daw sayo sa mga boys? Papayag kayo? Sige, pag niligawan tayo, sagot agad. Pag iniwan tayo? Ok lang. Kapag sinabi nilang, "Uy, ex ko." Alam niyo sagot diyan? "Ay, ambisyoso."


If the one you love doesn't love you back, don't get depressed. Just think about it for a while, maybe cry a bit then wipe your tears and say, "Ang weird naman niya. Di siya pumapatol sa magaganda!" You only got one life so live it well., one heart so take good care, one soul so keep it pure. One boyfriend? What a waste! Make it two or more! Sayang ganda natin!


Pag sinabi sayo ng mahal mo na ayaw na niya sayo, hayaan mo lang. Wag kang iiyak at magpapakagago! Imbis na iyakan mo siya, ngitian mo lang at sabihin mo ang ganito, "So, pano? Bye na!Naghihintay na ang kapalit mo!" Who cares about break-ups? Oo nga, masakit. Makirot sa puso. Pero tandaan mo: a break-up isn't only an end to a relationship. It's also a beginning of a new one and an end to a living hell called "ex".

It's Too Good To Be True

Binabayaran kame para mag-surf ng walong oras.
San ka pa?

Kaya araw-araw akong nakakapag-update ng blog at nakakapag-comment sa mga kung anik-anik na blog ng fwends ko.

At for some reason, naiinlove na ata ako sa kanya:

Okay, alam kong he has better pictures than this pero galing 'to sa friendster niya na ninakaw ko.


Salamat kay Jhamie na nag-introduce sa'kin kay Ping Medina. May pag-aagawan na naman tayo, bukod kay fafa Louie.


Pero sige, dahil birthday mo naman, pagbibigyan kita.

My Life: OST

My Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits:	Comfort In Your Strangeness (Cynthia Alexander)
Waking up:	Where Do We Begin (Mishka Adams)
Average day:	Taxi Ride (Tori Amos)
First date:	Please Be Careful With My Heart (Jose Mari Chan/Regine Velasquez)
Falling in love:	Akap (Imago)
Love scene:	Kamasupra (Eraserheads)
Fight scene:	Wasakan (Razorback)
Breaking up:	Hiling (Paramita)
Getting back together:	Can We Still Be Friends? (Todd Rundgren)
Secret love:	Closer You and I (Gino Padilla)
Life's okay:	Prayer (Kapatid)
Mental breakdown:	Angel (Sarah Mclachlan)
Driving:	Are You Gonna Go My Way? (Lenny Kravitz
Learning a lesson:	A Sorta Fairy Tale (Tori Amos)
Deep thought:	Spoliarium (Eheads/Imago)
Flashback:	For the First Time (Kenny Loggins)
Partying:	Music Sounds Better With You
Happy dance:	Dizzy Boy (Pedicab)
Regreting:	I Can't Make You Love Me (Bonnie Raitt)
Long night alone:	Alone (Heart)
Death scene:	Mary Jane (Alanis Morissette)
Closing credits:	Full Moon (Aia De Leon)
Take this survey Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

All In Love Is Fair

All is fair in love
Love's a crazy game
Two people vow to stay
In love as one they say
But all is changed with time
The future no one can see
The road you leave behind
Ahead lies mystery
But all is fair in love
I had to go away


A writer takes his pen
To write the words again
That all in love is fair



All of fate's a chance
It's either good or bad
I tossed my coin to say
In love with me you'd stay
But all in war is so cold
You either win or lose
When all is put away
The losing side I'll play
But all is fair in love
I should never have left your side


A writer takes his pen
To write the words again
That all in love is fair



A writer takes his pen
To write the words again
That all in love is fair

-Stevie Wonder

- - -

So this is what capturing a tender moment looks like. But like the stealthy snap of the shutters, the image will freeze forever but the feeling the subjects had when this picture was taken will someday fade, as if the photo was never taken at all.

(thanks to ardee for this photo)

Ouch!

My frigging bones are aching from yoga. My long unused muscles have been stretched this morning. But just like any fitness regimen, my body should get used to this after few weeks of regular training. This should also serve as my pre-capoeira training.


The pain brings back all the memories from my soccer varsity days. The murderous jog-around-ust and the suicide sprints after training.


A simple laugh or giggle hurts like hell.

I have to admit I was not as spry as I once was. The sprain that I got when I fell down the stairs last December took a full two months to heal.


Thank God for chili plasters. They burn the surface of my skin four times than Omega Pain Killer does but atleast, I can laugh without wincing at the same time after a day or two.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!Extremely Bitter Ranting Ahead!!!!

(pagkatapos ng physical pain...metaphysical pain naman ngayon..)


Nakakabwisit ka. Kung kailan todo-iwas ako sa'yo, lapit ka naman ng lapit.

Ayoko na ng komplikasyon, kahit minsan parang hinahanap ko rin.

Kung gusto mong mag-resign, sige. Nang matahimik na ako.

Sana huwag ka ng mag-text, huwag ka ng mag-email, palitan mo na rin yung wallpaper ng pc ko at pc mo. Leche. Ba't kailangan picture natin yung ilagay mo. (Pero kahit dapat, hindi ko magawang palitan).

Sabi ko nga system down, kaya napag-tripan kong mag-flames sa office. Lahat ng klaseng pairing ginawa ko na dito sa office, isang pares lang ang iniiwasan ko. Tayo. Tapos lalapit ka sa'kin, sasabihin mo sa'kin, i-flames ko pangalan natin. Kahit joke yun, ayokong malaman yung resulta. (Flames result ng names natin: Friend + Friend = Love. Anak ng talaga nga naman noh?)

Hindi nga pwede di'ba? May girlfriend ka na.

Pero mapilit ka.

Hindi rin kaya ng budhi kong maging 'other.'

Kaya nga layo na ako ng layo sa'yo. Pinaglalapit pa rin tayo.
Nakakainis.

Sa lahat ng tao na magugustuhan ko ng ganito (after more than 2 years of hiatus), ikaw pa.

Siyempre, talagang bitter-bitteran ang drama ko ngayon.

Kahit pinagtatawanan ako ni Jhamie, at tinatawag akong 'whore' (dahil hindi na raw uso ang 'bitch' ngayon), for some reason, go pa rin ako.

Ah, ewan.

Siguro prozac lang kailangan nito.

Lagi naman.

Kung aalis ka nga, tatahimik buhay ko.

pero...hindi na ako masaya.

eto pahabol pa...

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Kay Neil Gaiman po galing yan. Amen.

Over

"...and i rode along side you then

till the honey spread itself so thin

for me to break your bread

for me to take your word

i had to steal it
and i'm so sad

like a good book

i can't put this day back

a sorta fairytale with you

a sorta fairytale with you..."

-Scarlet

I have absolutely no more fight left in me. We both have been thieves, no moment had ever been ours. This is where this ride ends. This is where words stuck in the base of our throats like sour bile from the acid pit of our stomachs.

Love.

Once or twice, you uttered the word. The word dissolved into thin air as if it was never spoken at all. That was enough. You called me, 'love.'

Stop calling me that. Stop wailing the word like a banshee.

Palm to palm we once met. Your warm hand contrasting deliciously against my cold ones. Palm to palm we still meet, but your warmth had abosrbed my own coldness that you shriveled away from every touch.

No more time, no more fight.

Leave.

What Is Your Post Break Up Rock Pinoy Song?

A Tonic Reprise


What is your post-breakup Pinoy Rock song?
brought to you by Quizilla

Bravado

Life is starting to get better again.

I thank all the Goddesses for this second chance.

Holier Than Thou

Taken at the LRT, somewhere between Pedro Gil station and United Nations station, one Sunday morning.

A Sorta Fairy Tale

This is one cool performance of my all-time fave TORI AMOS song