Stressed

Red Alert

I've just completed a double shift, meaning I've been in this office for 16+ hours...I've seen a revolution of sunset and sunrise and I still haven't logged out yet (waiting for a certain officemate to log out to do some bank stuff). In that 16+ hours, roughly 80% of it was spent chained on my station, listening to calls after calls until I've reached the target number of monitored calls that I should have in a week and I'm nowhere halfway yet. The rest of the time was spent for eating, and team meeting, and roughly and hour and a half of sleep. I've drank a can of instant latte, which was sickeningly sweet, If I may say so.

So yes, I'm still in a very stressful state which is manifesting itself by the snowy-like flakes of dandruff that showers over my shoulder every time I scratch myself in frustration. I need a break. I think I badly needed to. My officemates have already been on an outing or two and came back from it with skin baked under the hot sun. Oh yes, I also have the same darker complexion but only because I've been battling the daily commute from my house to the office and vice versa.

There have been major changes in this office.

There are backlogged works that keep on piling, because I have yet to master the skill of being a QAS and an Asst T.L. at the same time.

I've been true to my word, the Wedding Plans have taken a backseat to all of this.

Boa and I are planning to expand our family by buying me a Great Dane puppy and I've been thinking on how will we raise such a huge dog in our house without my mom killing me.

I've been waiting for the status on my loan (If I'm not mistaken, it's supposed to be any day now), which we are really hoping to get to ease our financial burdens. I don't even want to think what'll happen if that loan wasn't approved...with Boa planning to switch jobs again. I don't think that my measly increase would cover our amortization, debts, and raising a new puppy. Buying the stuff for our home, and paying for our wedding is another matter.

Lately, I've been harboring this insecurity whenever a friend of Boa tells me something about his past. The time we've spent apart since moving out of Citiland hasn't help in curbing my insecurity. It IS hard. It was something I thought I could handle but will all these things happening around me, I'm due to break down any moment now. But Boa had been all cool and patient about it. He reassures me well, and I can say, he's my Rock of Gibraltar right now.

I admit, I've been having dreams about being with other people which magazines are saying something normal for individuals who have taken a major step in their relationships.

The upshot is that I'm losing weight without even trying. People have commented on how thin I am being but I'm getting sickly as well.

I've been rushed to the ER, twice in a week. I'm still hacking violently with every cough and my chest hurts each time. I have inflamed ribs for not getting enough exercise, because I haven't the time.

I miss my friends so badly, even if some of them are already my officemates. I hate myself for being incoherent...just lurking by and reading their mails about their lives which I can't even comment on...

I know this is nothing compared to what others are going through right now, say the starvation issues in Somalia, but this is all that I can say in a short span of time, so please let me.

Thank you for the time you spent reading this...