A Lame-ass Entry
Yes. I already told Monyat that I'm a self-proclaimed boring lame-ass. I've skipped a whole lot of bonding and inuman sessions (both alcoholic and caffeinated ones) with my friends. My career as a music-writer is now a thing of the past. Fun, for me, right now is balancing my checkbook, budgeting my money, grocery shopping, keeping house, whipping up semi-edible pasta dishes, and watching FRIENDS on DVD one season after another.
I think I've morphed into a sub-par Ma. Ailil Alvarez (my best friend) minus the bi-weekly relationship dramarama and the razor-sharp intellect.
Don't get me wrong.
It might be lots different from the nomadic life I used to live but right now, I'm sort of tired.
Settling down in my own space seems like a comfort that not even a shot of vodka can satiate right now.
For some reason, domesticity had been natural although not an easy thing to swallow at times.
The novelty of living with someone and being responsible for myself has not lost its thrill yet so my relationship with my friends have taken a major backseat which is the only thing I apologize for in this huge melodrama which is my life.
Sooner or later I'd be sure to get bored with all this. The starry-eyed look on my face will be wiped off and replaced with the bitter tang of spiteful words that will lash out of me when Boa and I hit a rough patch.
Maybe I'd crack once the thrill has died down...when everything starts becoming tedious again, and the only way to get through it is to d(r)own it with alcohol and write pseudo-existentialist angst on this blog.
After all, everything is a vicious cycle. I will not dispute that.
We can't have it all.
But I am welcoming this small measure of peace.
Until it lasts.
I think I've morphed into a sub-par Ma. Ailil Alvarez (my best friend) minus the bi-weekly relationship dramarama and the razor-sharp intellect.
Don't get me wrong.
It might be lots different from the nomadic life I used to live but right now, I'm sort of tired.
Settling down in my own space seems like a comfort that not even a shot of vodka can satiate right now.
For some reason, domesticity had been natural although not an easy thing to swallow at times.
The novelty of living with someone and being responsible for myself has not lost its thrill yet so my relationship with my friends have taken a major backseat which is the only thing I apologize for in this huge melodrama which is my life.
Sooner or later I'd be sure to get bored with all this. The starry-eyed look on my face will be wiped off and replaced with the bitter tang of spiteful words that will lash out of me when Boa and I hit a rough patch.
Maybe I'd crack once the thrill has died down...when everything starts becoming tedious again, and the only way to get through it is to d(r)own it with alcohol and write pseudo-existentialist angst on this blog.
After all, everything is a vicious cycle. I will not dispute that.
We can't have it all.
But I am welcoming this small measure of peace.
Until it lasts.
No comments:
Post a Comment